Hijab-Dejab. It's like a switch button.

I hate that I have to write this post but I guess I should have seen it coming. I am after all a a doting mother of 2, modern moslem woman and after all, isn’t this the favorite topic of the people in my generation?*sarcasm*

I need to write this for my own healing and for anyone else out there who have been questioned for their decisions around hijab (…Why do you wear it? Why don’t you wear it? Slapforehead *again with the sarcasm*)

First off, a little context: Recently, I started wearing hijab. I had never worn it full time before that except when attending religious classes, enter the mosque or in a muslim community for several reason of good bonding. 

There is no main reason for me why I want to hijab. Being a widowed and having a teenager son and a little daughter and with age in my late 30s, I think I should appear more solemn rather than appear like Tina Turner with a mo-hawk hairstyle. 

At all it started with my ex boyfriend, who was an Albanian-catholic and if he was to convert to Islam and he prefers me to cover as being an example of moslem women but of course I did not do it to please any man. At that time of a point, I felt that being hijab was just covering my modesty. Sure in the Quran was stated in one of the verses that to inform their females, wives, daughters or slaves of the right hand to cover themselves in veil as it was better for them. I never deny that. 

Of course when I started to put on, many friends in my circle of influence became close to me and embrace me with the hijab. Many would have recommend me to go online to shop for hijab or style like themselves as trendy muslimah with shaylas, abayahs, princess arabia accessories and other glamorous fashion stuffs. And that leads on to many other ways of showing off their credibility to show off and criticism among others that they don't favour. But this is the part that dont favour me the most. By covering ourselves with hijab we have to learn humbility in ourselves and act moderately to sustain goodness in ourselves. 

But somehow I got turned off with their characteristic and their hijab intentions. I'm not assuming all but some percentage of women like to clump themselves with superior attitudes when they got themselves a degree of enlightenment. I wasn't sure why that my sisters and other relatives thinks radical that being in hijab was signifier for me to be a better muslimah. Again I'm doing self search on myself. I even have some friends who actually expressed their happiness ALHAMDULILAH that I have hijab myself. Especially when they tracked my pictures on IG or my Facebook accounts. And all that were so FARKED FAKE attitude that I never like in them. Some even try to relate stories or short comments on how they feel that God has guided them to be a better person in hijab. And even check themselves in on social media that they are at mosques waiting for prayers or listening to the sermon of infamous ustaz. 

And now the turning point.. :-)  I put on hijab whenever I am with my kids, going to mosques or to any moslem events to fit in the moslem community dress codes but when comes to my career, I become a normal civilian person the best I can be. I'm comfortable to perform my job interact with my fellow colleagues from various countries. I know they are being respectful with those in hijabs. Nevertheless I prefer not to create any confusion for myself as at times I have coffee and cigarettes whenever we have discussion. It would be ridiculously insane in Asia if they were to see me with hijab and malboro menthol slid in between my fingers.
For that I'm not insane.

Another thing that turned me off and absolute if I can vomit at them, I will. Blargggh.. supreme annoying! Whenever I posted pictures on my IG, twitter, or whatsoever the most mundance place .. FACEBOOK. Many of my friendlist who are especially local here: same skin, same mother-tongue needless more to say same racial ethnic. Those are pretty much who always 24/7 would have nothing better to do, losers with a big L in their heads that constantly scrolling their mobiles whenever they are and keep stalking on your profiles and like like like in every of your pictures. "Pretentiously leaving comments : Oh girl, alhamdulilah you look sweet and very nice muslimah on that hijab" and after awhile when they saw you repost old pictures with dejab, oh they will put sarcarsm comments below your posts. Or to discuss illness speaking to other contacts. Does Islam encourage you to do that?
Well I can't stop them either. :)

To discuss about hijab dejab can be personal, culture, religious related and political . I'm just feeling better myself and comfortabl,e that is most important. I'm not a blogger to attract neither I'm a extremist preacher. Each to his own life and I'm on my own world.  Peace.

If any were to tell me by showing a single hair in the public is haram and equal 70,000 years of hell punishment, I would have guessed HADES have let you entered hell earlier. I do respect religious hadiths and sunnah but using extreme words is such a careless whisper.

Kahwin Kahwin Makcik Boyan

Malay wedding in Singapore has become phenomenal among our society. In Singapore, being a multi-racial in melting pot country, it is always very nice to be invited and celebrate a joyous occasion of different cultures. Not forgetting even more memorable if the marriage blended in from different culture background. In my family, these kind of inter marriage do exist. And it started with me, feeling guilty. :-p

Last weekend, once again Haji Latif family clan had a big wedding event for my niece, Juliana Jumaat. It was a joyous occasion but with memory of my loving brother, Allahyarhamu Jumaat Latif  it was such a sentimental moment. We felt the loss but life goes on. Everyone in my family were excited and prepared months ahead. We have discussed among sisters that we will be in orange theme dress. We love to be supportive to each other after all, blood runs in the family. It must be very tedious and drained minded for the bride and groom to go through many obstacles for their preparation. It was also a good bonding moment with my sister in law, together with my nieces and nephews helping out for the preparation. It is not about the money contribution but the time and effort with humbled offer to help one another.

During my parents time, which was during their lifetime in the 1970s to 1980s, when our grandparents or parents did wedding, sacrifice occasions, grandchildren celebration or even shifting of houses, many of our closed relatives showed up. Not only being a couple but they brought their children along. That was when little children would played together and create mischief while our parents prepared for food and drinks to say prayers together. Those were one of the best memories ever that I appreciated very much. I know it will not come again but I believe I should input that to my children and mix well with their cousins and relatives.

Unlike nowadays, the new generation grown up and their children have created a veil or a barrier to do so as they are not feeling comfortable to mingle even so related. Some just turned up and brought their family to show their faces on that occasion and not help out at all. I believe the world is getting better and good lifestyle and some people can be better off than among their relatives but being humbled and put your hands together to help your own family does not cause any money and pride. It was such a shame when some measure with their wealth.

My sad moment to watch the ceremony without my brother around. He was blessed with 5 wonderful children that his sons are able to be his strong generation and marry off their big sister.

The customary of Malay muslim wedding. Taken at Chong Pang community centre. Most of my siblings were there to give support and love to our eldest niece in the family.

 I knew her stage fright feeling and to stand alone in the diaz. Well who doesn't?

A simple wedding gift of $10,000 and mahr presented to the bride.

The beautiful wedding cake done by my sister, Siti Fatimah.
I really appreciate her talent and her kind heart and make all our nephew and nieces close to her. Aside to this, all her cooking is amazing. She has our late mum talent for cooking.

 During her solemnization, a bride is always beautiful and queen of the day.

I was feeling great and happy to meet all my aunts who are my late mom step-sisters. The resemblance of their faces are there and I appreciate their coming even our parents and my siblings have passed.

 This is my closest uncle and wife, my late mom's elder brother. Without the old, there will never be new. Life is short, we just have to be good and mindful with our behaviour towards the elder. Someday we will grow old too.

My siblings celebrating the joyous occasion together. Somehow there are always pain in the ass moments when we quarrel and we put aside bad differences and rejoice in every happy moments. Love them loads. Not forgetting my tolerance with Forest Gump.

 This has always been a tradition of the kompang in welcoming of the newly married. With a great spread of food, most of the guests are happy.

With great blessing from both their parents and all of us, we wish them a new start of journey in life to be together and many blessing moments with nice children ahead.

Mak Andam has always been an important role in a wedding ceremony as she is the main woman to dress the bride well. Nowadays, the trend goes to be a MAKE UP artist. I don't fancy that name.

At the end of the day, I remembered thinking "WOW, Juliana is married now. It doesnt feel like it was too long when she was a baby in her parents arms. Time really fly and understanbly life goes on. Well the most hit questions I've got - directed to me by my cousins of same generation and my uncle and aunts " So... Are you not going to marry again?" Blunt straight to my heart!!! Arrggghh...

When is my turn??? :D In God's Will .. it shall be








My conclusion is no matter what we are, where we are, how successful we have become, when our relatives or closed family have any occasion, we should put our time and humbleness to be there for them and support them throughout. I came from a great big family before and I am always proud to be called Makcik Boyan as it is my parents were from Bawean Island and never ashamed of being that. We are not the pirates of Carribean ;-) need I to say more...? 

October Feast - Ink Squid Pasta

No limits to cooking: Ink Squid Pasta 

My absolute must use list - Ink squid pasta. I never know how to get it  and thank you, received a complimentary from my childhood friend. I never had it and I have no clue how it taste like. I searched through the net on how the images look like and their calories count. Where is the origin of this pasta or is it infusion from others?
As you know, the Italians know how to give funny names to their dishes and the rest of the world would copy and rightfully made infusion to their culture taste bud. I just feel a big try to this culinary.

Pasta for sure carbs, and of course, we need that to add up energy to our body.  Here are the 

Nutrition Facts

Organic - Squid Ink Pasta

1. Servings:  100 g 1 g

Calories	322	Sodium	9 mg
Total Fat	3 g	Potassium	0 mg
Saturated	0 g	Total Carbs	62 g
Polyunsaturated	0 g	Dietary Fiber	0 g
Monounsaturated	0 g	Sugars	0 g
Trans	0 g	Protein	17 g
Cholesterol	0 mg
Vitamin A	0%	Calcium	0%
Vitamin C	0%	Iron	0%

Squid ink pasta, seemed to be a exotic name in American or Asian palates but maybe it is common in Mediterranean tables. In cooking, squid ink benefits boil down largely to taste and presentation enhancements. The ink gives pasta and rice a distinct black coloring and a mild briny taste. Its flavor comes largely from glutamic acid, an amino acid also present in fish sauce and other food additives that adds a savory flavor to dishes. Natural glutamic acid, such as that in squid ink, differs from its synthetic cousin monosodium glutamate in that it does not contain the impurities that your body cannot process, according to the Truth in Labeling Campaign. Therefore, ink adds flavoring without containing anything particularly harmful to you, unless you are allergic to it.

I'm using " Nero di Seppia" from Morelli. The name sounded alike my grandma. I've never seen anything that is black and eatable. I have searched on the net on how to do it and there are actually many ways to cook and present to each individual taste. Bring the pasta to boil around 3 to 6 minutes. That should be fine. Put aside before mix them with the sauce. 

I've decided to have it with shrimps and lemon cream sauce. Using 

2 cloves garlic - crushed. 
3 tbsp olive oil 
6 shrimps -  peeled all,
1 red chilli - sliced 
1 leek  - sliced 
3 tbsp cream 
1 lemon - squeeze the juice.
Instead of white wine, I switched to apple cider. 
But of course, a little dash of salt or you can switched to a tbsp of butter if you want to: 

 Pour olive oil to the heated pan. Stir all ingredients and simmer them about 3-5 minutes. 

Finally, the taste and the feeling of eating it. It is not actually fishy but it had a sea flavor taste. Lemon cream sauce add on to the great feeling to enjoy the pasta.  It looked beautiful and fun to eat too. Oh come on, how often do you get to eat black pasta? 
I know some people are going "Oh yuck, yuck, yucky". If you are an adventurous eater, this is not bad after all. 

Lastly I'm no Martha Stewart or Rachel Ray and very newbie to blogging. I enjoy food and I love to learn many cuisines and great healthy dishes from any countries. 

Buon Appetito. 

Let's start

My New Jogging Beginning

My first attempts at jogging were met by my body feeling like it was going to fall apart. Jogging seems as easy as lacing up and taking off on the streets, but here's what I learned to get over the beginner's hump and turn jogging into a habit. 

I was thinking of what to wear and what is the best sport shoes and the right attire.
In my mind, Adidas, Reebok, Stella McCartney whatever designers came about. I didnt like to jog on the treadmill as I cannot focus and imagine the real scenery and breathe well. Now I need to call up my retail friends for some discounts on merchandise,. 

Location an time are also important factor to look at. I found a good spot to jog, Lower Seletar Reservoir. Few friends just love to scare me that that place has many incredible tales to ponder during night time. As far as I know, I say my prayers and let my mind flow. I came across many lovebirds mating in their cars. Indeed it was a nice view in the evening, but in the morning it will be much more refreshing. 

Some people can probably go out for a jog whenever they have the free time, but I'm a person of habit and had to pick a time I knew I would stick to on a regular basis. We've pointed out before that a schedule helps you stick with an exercise routine and it's certainly the case for me. After playing around with mornings, afternoons, and evenings I settled on an early evening time: 6:30 pm. This works for my schedule 100 percent of the time, easily transfers into other seasons, and captures daylight most of the year.

I will try to keep up and increase my stamina after all I have quickly kick my smoking habit. Who knows this will be my new beginning.  Exercise can give you more energy, put you in a better mood, help you feel healthier and stronger, relieve stress, and aid in increasing your self-image and self-confidence. Exercise such as jogging increases the blood circulation in the body, which in turn releases endorphins. Doesn't mean I deprived from sex, I should not feel happy. Many things make me happy now. 

Importantly my children, my well being and my assets. I can keep it under control. I thank the Almighty for making ways and guide me as a single mum.